Self-Portrait Final Project

The Two Halves of Me, Julianna Menjivar-Sanchez

The Two Halves of Me, Julianna Menjivar-Sanchez

My Nurse and I, Frida Kahlo

   

The Broken Column, Frida Kahlo

For my self-portrait final project, I decided to paint myself which was inspired by Frida Kahlo. The title of my project is called “The Two Halves of Me”. I was inspired by Frida’s work in “The Broken Column” and “My Nurse and I”. After my first self-portrait project, I knew I still wanted to do work that was based on her work and instead do a painting that resembled hers just like in the “The Broken Column”. I wanted to tackle the image of the reality of motherhood, but yet still somehow covering it up. So with that came to mind, doing a nude half body showcasing the hardships of motherhood, and the other half showcasing just me cleaned up and covering myself. 

For this project, I used a canvas, a pencil, brushes, water, and acrylic paint. This project took roughly about 4-5 hours to complete. I first sketched out what I wanted to do using free-hand, then I started to paint the background, then the body, then the face, and then the little details throughout the painting. 

For this painting, I wanted to defy the male gaze through the truth of motherhood. At first I was contemplating whether or not I wanted to do a nude portrait but then I felt it would better fit the theme of Frida’s inspiration. While growing up, my mom had paintings of Frida around the house. I remember seeing paintings of “The Broken Column”, “Frieda and Diego Rivera”, “Self-Portrait with Thorn Necklace and Hummingbird”, etc. Her work has always stood out to me. I sometimes would even be confused on why my mom would have nude paintings hanging on our walls, but now I see why she was so in love with Frida. With that, came this work I painted. I did at first, a self-portrait like Frida does of herself in most of her work. Then while looking at the painting of “The Broken Column”, I was thinking in what ways can I showcase the reality of motherhood? So then I decided looking at pictures of mothers and I saw: stretch marks, moms with caesarean cuts from delivery, the pain of breastfeeding, and even birth control. So with that, I added blood in the c-section cut with staples, the stretch marks on the hips, stomach, breasts and arms, blood in the nipple and breastmilk, and lastly the incision and bruising on the arm from the birth control, which I personally have. While still on this half, I wanted it to portray the “dark side”, so when I was looking at the painting of “My Nurse and I”, I saw Frida painted the background as if it was raining, but the rain was milk. From that, I decided to make my background dark with clouds and as if it was raining blood to show the pain and blood mothers go through. The "bloody" rain is also hitting the dirt, and the blood is trying to "water" the dirt to grow. On my face, I painted as if I was happy. I was copying a photo I had taken, and in the photo I was showing teeth while smiling, but I decided to just show a tight-lipped smile to resemble Frida’s. On the motherhood side of the face, I also added tears to resemble sadness even though I am smiling. On the other half of the painting, it represented the good side of me. I’m covered a button-up shirt, smiling, and with a sunrise background and flowers growing from the grass. To me, this side represents the truth that we cover to show we are strong and growing. 

Some quotes I would like to relate to my painting is as follows:

A quote from the NY Times article, “Frida Kahlo Was a Painter, a Brand Builder, a Survivor. And So Much More.”, states, “But Kahlo did not conceal her pain, revealing her casts and leather braces with metal buckles in her work and turning her plaster corsets into art with elaborate designs of flowers, even a hammer and sickle. “She treated these second skins as canvases,” Ms. Small said.”" This quote to me sticks out because I can relate it to my painting and how even with so much pain and blood throughout one half of me, it is still accompanied by flowers. Our body is our canvas and it tells a story of what we have gone through throughout our lives. 

Another quote from the NY Times article is, “People have described her as broken and fragile, but she was strong and accomplished a tremendous amount in her lifetime.” This quote shows how in Frida’s painting, she always showing the life that is filled with pain and brokenness, but it doesn’t demonstrate her weakness, it demonstrates her strength because she embraced all of who she is and showed the world. Her artwork brought a lot of attention to who she was as a person and the strength she built throughout all the difficulties she went through physically and emotionally. And I feel with that, it is also showcased in my painting because the reality of motherhood does not signal weakness, it signals the strength we go through to make sure the child we birthed is healthy, even if sometimes we do not feel like it.

For my last quote, from the NY Times, it states, “Neither her disabilities from polio and a bus accident, nor her frequent relapses of pain deterred Kahlo.” I love this quote because again, it shows her strength as a woman. She did not let her pain and disabilities define her as a person- it was not her identity. It was the type of woman she was by getting back up and being strong to continue doing what she loved. And I feel this message is conveyed through my painting because even though we, as mothers, go through so much raising our children, we still put on our strong suits to tackle any and everything that comes our way and to make sure our family is good.

The differences in this final self-portrait and the others is that I used paint instead of print-outs to represent myself. This project took longer than the other ones. The first one was a series of photos of myself, the second one was a video including my son and myself, the third one was a collage of myself, and for this final one I wanted to have it different and paint myself. The only similarity in each of the self-portraits I have made is that they relate to motherhood, which is a huge part of who I am. I feel as if I have pushed myself and learned from each of the artists we have discussed in class, and now appreciate art more than I have before. This class has helped me realize how much I appreciate my identity as a mother and as a woman in a world that is always looking and judging.

Citation:

Kleinman, R. (2019, January 31). Frida Kahlo was a painter, a brand builder, a survivor. and so much more. The New York Times. Retrieved December 6, 2022, from https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/31/arts/design/frida-kahlo-booklyn-museum.html